I do solomly swear...

I joined NaBloPoMo. In an effort to regulate myself. In essence I have committed to posting here once a day for the entire month of November. Obviously I am a little late, but what the heck.

Today I took pictures of my pendants - modeled by my lovely friend and co-worker Jordan. Also, I ate a cinnamon roll for breakfast.

If you want to know the real deal of what is going on over here today, here it is: I am sitting here not even really knowing what to type because how to differentiate all these different thoughts into ones I want to keep vs. ones I want to throw away? And it's hard anyway, to write those keepable thoughts. Hard not to overthink. I have been very negative lately. Negative about my job, my pursuits, everything really. And while I hold onto this thin thread - this idea I have of selling my pendants and turning Trained Monkey into something doable - I am bombarded by doubts and haunts and a lack of creativity, as of late. That is my state, today.

But the good news, is that I happen to know that how I feel, does not determine reality. Just because I feel uncreative, does not mean that I am uncreative. This is a temporary state that I am in. And really, who wouldn't expect a barrage of self doubt when embarking upon such an adventure? I could have gone to law school, or nursing school, or done something else that would have prepared me to have a more traditional career. And on days like today, I really kind of wish I had. But the reality is that I didn't. I have chosen to work a flexible job, for less money, so that I can spend my afternoons covered in resin dust, working out in my studio. I am choosing to pave this path because it is where my heart is, where my guts are. And if I fail........well, then, I guess I can always go to grad school later. For now, I have to try.