Aftermath

I pretty much suck at being "in the moment." Even if I am sure of whatever current project/life situation I have going on at the moment, as soon as it is over (or sometimes even before, really) I am immediately consumed with the search of what to do next. Always, at these times, I throw around big stuff - not just 'oh, maybe I'll buy a new sweatshirt', but rather 'maybe I'll go to law school' (what!?) or 'maybe we should move across the country.' See, the thing is, I apparently love a challenge. And the adrenaline that comes when that challenge is met. I love excitement. And I guess I get bored when the exciting thing is over and I have to go back to making lattes and mocha's everyday. Which is so, abundantly stupid and silly, for reasons I will explain later. Maybe I am an adrenaline junkie?

So most recently, my excitement was, as I alluded to in my last post, that I trained for and ran the Nike Women's Marathon in San Fransisco. Yes, it was a full marathon, and yes, I finished. No, I did not win.

This was my first marathon. And let me say that although I had always carried with me the fantasy of being a "runner" (read: look like a runner)I just never had the motivation to run more than a mile or so. A marathon was so far out of the question, it was laughable. Those things are 26.2 freakin miles long! I didn't have the desire. Then, this past May, my friend Jennifer (well now she is my friend - back then we barely knew each other) invited me to a Team in Training meeting. She was all 'hey, remember how we both want to start running? Well, I think that they, like, give you pointers, and stuff.' We walked into that meeting thinking that we were going to get tips on how to run better, and we walked out having signed up to run a marathon and raise money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma society (click here for more info).

So we started training the first week of June - barely able to run 3 miles.

Last weekend we completed the marathon - 26.2 miles in 6:38.

We trained 6 days a week - running, walking, cross-training, hill repeats. I grew to love running and the way it blows everything else out of your mind. It has this way of breaking you physically, and building you mentally. For me, running is about connecting. It's mind over matter, and its about good conversation with your running partner and sometimes it feels like praying out in the desert. But that's not accurate enough, because I'm not even telling you the real reason I signed up to run the marathon with Team in training. The real reason is that when I was sitting there with my friend Jennifer, at the meeting, she turned and looked at me and told me that her sister had recently been diagnosed with leukemia.There I was, normally the most skeptical person on the planet, sitting in a room full of people who were telling me that if I wanted, I could raise money for leukemia research and run a freakin marathon. I just remember sitting there and instead of feeling what I expected (skepticism, cynicism, and the itch to get the heck out of there) I felt an overwhelming sense that I was supposed to do this. The only reasons I knew of at the time, were for Jennifer, and her sister. I can't explain it, I just knew.
Maybe I'll write about the actual marathon experience in another post, because this one is already getting so long. What I'll say right now, is that it blew my mind. It is on my top 5 list for the best things I have ever done.

So back to the original intent of this post. Now I am sitting here, not even fully healed from my big run, and I'm freaking out inside about what to do next. Having the hardest time relaxing and just being in this time, this space in my life. I know, that what I am going to do next will come, no matter what. I do not need to be uptight about it, in order for it to get here. To be blunt, I believe that God orders my steps, and I guess I'm always just a little impatient. Right now, everything in my life seems to be separated into Before Marathon and After Marathon categories. Soon He will settle me, I know. Take a deep breath, right?